A Lesson in Color Block

I often find color blocked garments to be very tacky. People tend to overaccessorize when they wear this trend, as though the simplicity of the design must be made up for in other facets of the outfit.

I disagree.

I think the key to wearing color block well is to simplify it. Let the point of the outfit be to showcase the colors and the cut of the piece and be done with it.

This LOFT tank is one of my favorite items this summer. I love the taupe and the magenta next to one another, and I love the loose feel of the shirt. All I added was a small ring whose stone matched the taupe in my shirt, and an unadorned pair of black flats. Love it!

Silk tank: LOFT (current)

Modern skinny "jeggings": LOFT (current)

Ring: Handmade by a family friend

Black faux leather flats: Target

What do YOU think of color block? Tacky or cool? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Java Chip Frappucino

I love Starbucks' Java Chip Frappucino ice cream. It's my go-to splurge item.

I recently learned that apparently, it's Paddington's, too. Please see the following as evidence:

Guiltily sneaking the carton away from his mom in hopes that he will not be deprived...

Checking out the remaining contents...

Using the back of the couch for leverage...

Really going at it...

Feeling bereft upon realizing he'd finished it all...

Just making sure to not leave any droplets behind...

Dry as a bone.

No wonder he's gained 14 pounds since coming to live here. We're working on it.

Neon, anyone?

Neon can be tricky. I think most people, when confronted with this recent resurrection of in-your-face color, perhaps turn the other cheek for fear of looking like the 80s vomited on their outfit.

However, I feel differently. Now I'm not saying I'm a proponent of those sorority-fraternity parties where college kids spray neon-colored goo on each other and wear light-up necklaces around their necks.

But I do think when done the right way and in a non-goo involving fashion, neon can be a really fun trend to embrace. For example, the following going out outfit is brightened right up with a few pops of yellow and pink neon:

Mixing in a metallic skinny belt seemed like the right thing to do. Correction: Mixing in metallic often seems like the right thing to do. As does mixing in a skinny belt.

Pocket-tee: Express

Pencil skirt: LOFT

Necklace: Express

Skinny belt: LOFT

Shoes: Colin Stuart for Victoria's Secret

So my advice to you? Go neon! Even if it's just in an accessory. After all, they're awfully easy to take off if you start to feel too blinded.

PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR

The handle on the door to my workplace is broken.

Now, when I say handle, I mean a long, pole-shaped door tug that runs lengthwise from top to bottom of the doors through which you enter our store.

And when I say broken, I simply mean unattached from one end. I do not mean sharply splintered or that it is violently poking out in any direction.

However, after hearing, "Gosh, do you realize your door handle is broken? It almost hit me in the face!" and "Geez, you need to fix that door immediately! It practically took off my foot!" among many other exaggeratory claims so many times, I decided I needed to take action, for the sake of my own sanity if nothing else.

Anyway, after spending some amount of time digging out a mallet from the depths of a seldom-used (and therefore very dusty) toolbox, I discovered that no amount of banging was going to get the door handle to stick in place.

So, I did the next reasonable thing... I posted a sign on the opposite door stating the following:

PLEASE ENTER THROUGH THIS SIDE OF THE DOORS. THANKS.

It was written in big red letters.

Over the course of the four hours remaining in my workday, I counted 26 people walk through the wrong side of the door, and about half of them had a complaint about the handle in question.

One lady even said, "Hahaha! Gosh, I read that sign and then I walked right in the wrong side anyway! Hahaha!"

Please tell me... Was my sign somehow unclear?

The Great Shave

As soon as April rolled around, I started talking about getting Holly shaved for the summer. I do this for many reasons, including, but not limited to, the following: her health, in that I do not want her to overheat under all that hair in the Georgia summer, my carpets, my sanity, etc.

So off to the groomer the pups went for baths, grooming, and in Holly's case, a haircut of the most epic proportions.

When I dropped my sweet pet off that morning, she was an animal hidden underneath 10 pounds of fur and adorned with frondy ear hairs and Grinch paws:

When I retrieved her that afternoon, they gave me back a skinny minnie whom they were calling Holly:

I said, "That's not my dog. Please go find the correct pet and bring her to me."

It took a while for the shock to wear off.

Holly, however, has taken quite well to her hair loss and enjoys bouncing around outside and then lounging on the cool hardwood floors that she can now detect.

What a little nugget.

Mother's Day Baked Good Perfection

You know how it always seems there is so much time before these smaller-scale holidays that aren't as big of a deal as, say, Christmas or a birthday, but are still a big enough deal to require the giving of gifts? You think, "Oh, Father's Day? That's not for another few weeks. I'll pick something up in a few days" or "Oh, Valentine's Day? I'll just think up the-greatest-of-all-time lover's surprise the week before" and then you wind up giving your significant other boxers with big fat red lip smacks all over them and a card that sings? Well, I've dropped the ball. I kept thinking, "Oh, we're just preparing for Mother's Day at the store because retail's on a faster time table. I'll grab Mom a gift next week." Unfortunately, it's now that week, and I still don't have anything.

So here's my means to the end, which I want to share here, so that all of your moms end up with at least something good to eat on Sunday: Lemon squares... aka, the most basic baked good, but one which also packs a lot of flavor and therefore a lot of baking cred (or in this case, adoring looks).

With no further adieu, I give you the recipe that will bring all of your moms to their knees and make them beg you to never buy them anything again, only make them more baked treats. (Read: CHEAP!)

Lemon Squares

(Here I am wishing I had a more creative name for this treat. Ah, well.)

Yes, that is a picture of my half-eaten batch of lemon squares. And yes, that is my fork laying there right in the pan. You see, as I was eating "just a few bites" when I got home, I thought I better take a picture of the remaining half before there was nothing left to take a picture of for this blog post. Oops. At least the picture demonstrates the credibility of the dessert's tastiness, if not its original aesthetic appeal. ;-) Clearly, I will be making my mother a fresh batch before Sunday.

Ingredients:

Crust

2 sticks butter

2 cups flour

3/4 cup powdered sugar

1 splash of vanilla

(I cannot claim a scientific measurement here. I am not scientific!)

Filling

1 stick butter

2 cups granulated sugar

4 eggs

1/2 cup lemon juice

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 splash of vanilla (Hate me yet?)

Melt butter for filling in a microwavable bowl in 30 second increments until it is soft and can be stirred. Fold in flour, sugar and vanilla. Using a 9 x 13 pan, pat batter out flat on the bottom of the pan to create the crust. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes or until lightly browned.

Then, melt the third stick of butter in the same manner as before. Fold in the sugar, eggs, lemon juice, baking powder and vanilla and mix thoroughly. This will create a very liquified batter. Do not be alarmed! (I was.) Pour over baked crust and bake for 20 more minutes (ish) at 350 degrees.

Sprinkle a generous amount of powdered sugar on top. PLEASE let them cool. They are not tasty warm. Now, go on and woo those who have spent their lives wooing you!

Retail Fail

With the following entry, I hope to teach you why it is important to never load a $20 collapsible rolling rack beyond its maximum capacity.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I'm standing at the cash wrap on the sales floor completing the usual mundane paperwork that is required to kick off a day in the retail business. As this process requires little thought, I'm probably daydreaming about what I might buy that day, or what I might blog about that evening. Perhaps what I'll eat for dinner. Lord only knows where this mind might stray when I should be concentrating on how many credit cards we need to make our monthly goal or other things of the sort.

I'm suddenly snapped out of my reverie by my associate (and best friend) loudly hollering from the back room, "CAROLINE!" with utter urgency in her voice.

Not wanting to be bothered with tottering back there in my heels, I holler back, and receive the following response: "GET BACK HERE IMMEDIATELY!"

I grudgingly make my way to the back of the store, where I find said associate, who in this entry will be known as Angry Eyebrows Associate, holding on with all her might to the rolling rack below. Veins were throbbing on her forehead with strain as she attempted to keep its contents from splattering to the floor in disorder.

Angry Eyebrows Associate barks for me to grab the rapidly collapsing rolling rack from the other side. We heave upwards, but strangely, nothing happens. The rolling rack does not move. Angry Eyebrows' face gets redder and redder. Thus, not only does this experience teach me that rolling racks are incompetent, but so is my upper arm strength. Note to self: Buy some 10-pounders.

In the end, we let the whole thing fall to the floor. It wasn't worth our sweat.

Exhibit A:

Now you may be thinking, "That doesn't look like a very big mess," but I beg to differ. Unfortunately for the credibility of this blog, I only collected my thoughts enough to snap this picture after about a third of the carnage had been cleaned up.

You see, our stock procedure is very delicate. These clothes, now strewn haphazardly on a dirty, dusty floor, had previously been unfolded, hung, buttoned, zipped, steamed, and organized into size order before being given a temporary home on this clearly unworthy rolling rack.

We made a decision to not tell any of our stock co-workers about this experience. Keep the secret for us, will you?

So, fashionistas with small closets beware: Adding a spare rolling rack may not be the answer.

But if you find yourself with a collapsing bar of clothes anyway, don't call me for help. Call the Incredible Hulk instead.