Friday, April 23, 2010

Retail Fail

With the following entry, I hope to teach you why it is important to never load a $20 collapsible rolling rack beyond its maximum capacity.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I'm standing at the cash wrap on the sales floor completing the usual mundane paperwork that is required to kick off a day in the retail business. As this process requires little thought, I'm probably daydreaming about what I might buy that day, or what I might blog about that evening. Perhaps what I'll eat for dinner. Lord only knows where this mind might stray when I should be concentrating on how many credit cards we need to make our monthly goal or other things of the sort.

I'm suddenly snapped out of my reverie by my associate (and best friend) loudly hollering from the back room, "CAROLINE!" with utter urgency in her voice.

Not wanting to be bothered with tottering back there in my heels, I holler back, and receive the following response: "GET BACK HERE IMMEDIATELY!"

I grudgingly make my way to the back of the store, where I find said associate, who in this entry will be known as Angry Eyebrows Associate, holding on with all her might to the rolling rack below. Veins were throbbing on her forehead with strain as she attempted to keep its contents from splattering to the floor in disorder.

Angry Eyebrows Associate barks for me to grab the rapidly collapsing rolling rack from the other side. We heave upwards, but strangely, nothing happens. The rolling rack does not move. Angry Eyebrows' face gets redder and redder. Thus, not only does this experience teach me that rolling racks are incompetent, but so is my upper arm strength. Note to self: Buy some 10-pounders.

In the end, we let the whole thing fall to the floor. It wasn't worth our sweat.

Exhibit A:

Now you may be thinking, "That doesn't look like a very big mess," but I beg to differ. Unfortunately for the credibility of this blog, I only collected my thoughts enough to snap this picture after about a third of the carnage had been cleaned up.

You see, our stock procedure is very delicate. These clothes, now strewn haphazardly on a dirty, dusty floor, had previously been unfolded, hung, buttoned, zipped, steamed, and organized into size order before being given a temporary home on this clearly unworthy rolling rack.

We made a decision to not tell any of our stock co-workers about this experience. Keep the secret for us, will you?

So, fashionistas with small closets beware: Adding a spare rolling rack may not be the answer.

But if you find yourself with a collapsing bar of clothes anyway, don't call me for help. Call the Incredible Hulk instead.

Sherlock Holmes or an expressive mutt?

This is my dad's dog Cletus. His front paws stick out in opposite directions as though he is perpetually posing in the second position, and his underbite is noticeable from approximately a mile away.

Doesn't he look suspicious? All he needs is a pipe and a fedora and he could star alongside Rachel McAdams in this year's Sherlock Holmes. Plus, his sense of smell would help him solve mysteries.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Warning: For Chocolate Lovers ONLY

On the particular day that these cookies were made, their purpose was to win over a boy's heart. On the three days that followed, however, they won over my heart. (Though I can't say it actually took that long).

Disclaimer: These cookies should only be eaten by those who can handle extreme chocolate.

Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Chip Cookies


1 bag Ghiradelli semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 bag Ghiradelli 60% cacao bittersweet chocolate chips
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
3 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 bag chopped walnuts

Melt bittersweet chocolate chips and butter together in a large bowl. Fold in other ingredients, along with semi-sweet chocolate chips and walnuts. Once batter is thoroughly mixed, create logs of dough using plastic wrap, each about a foot long. Refrigerate for an hour. Once logs have hardened, unwrap and cut dough into 1/2 inch slices. Place cookies on parchment-lined paper and bake at 375 degrees for 12-15 minutes.